First thing to say is that this is not a 'woe-is-me' post – I'm not looking for pity or sadness. I want to help break the stigma around mental health, and if this helps one person cope slightly better with their anxiety, depression or whatever challenges they may be facing, then I'll be happy.
Today is Time to Talk Day, an initiative from Mind and Rethink Mental Illness, backed by the government and National Lottery funding. One of the key lines is "However you do it, make a conversation about mental health". So, here's mine.
In 2010/11, I noticed I was having issues with my mental health and wellbeing. The trigger was originally work pressures (which I put on myself – no-one else saw any issues with the quality of my work, or how I was 'in myself'), resulting in being signed off sick and starting taking anti-depressants – SSRIs.
In the period since then, I've had a number of similar 'episodes' for a variety of reasons. 2017 was particularly rough as, unfortunately, I lost both my parents. Yet, the pressure I put on myself for work usually triggers my anxiety/depression.
I now see a counsellor regularly (I cannot recommend this enough) and also have my very own psychiatrist (how fancy). Last year, I was given a diagnosis of dysthymia – kind of helps having a name to it – changed the course of drugs I am on, and am speaking about what's happening to far more friends and family than ever before.
I have a chemical imbalance. That's it. It doesn't change who I am as a professional, as a friend, as a husband, as a father. It's simply part of me.
Furthermore, my work and colleagues have been particularly understanding, and are very flexible and supportive of me, helping me to stay well as I can. Thank you, CPL, for that.
So, there it is. I've been wanting to write something along these lines for a while. For me. But I also know that there are many peers, colleagues and friends who are going through similar and feel like they are alone. Please remember – YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Take that first step to talk to a friend, or a stranger – even me! And try as much as you can to exercise – a brief walk can help boost those lovely endorphins.
Hopefully, this strikes a chord with at least one person, and can help them. Take a deep breath and speak to someone you trust about how you are feeling.
As Bob Hoskins said (ask your parents) – "It's good to talk".